Two-column Story Table: Music and Emotion
It was July 6th, one day before my 6th birthday. I jumped out of the bed after hearing my parents whispering about my birthday present. I had already made up my mind. I wanted a piano. |   | |
At that time, I knew about one composer only, Johann Strauss. His waltzes somehow always accompanied our family celebrations, including Christmas tree decorations and unwrapping Christmas presents. I had dreamed to know how to play An der schönen blauen Donau, more popular as The Blue Danube, to tell the story about my childhood. |    | |
A few days after my birthday, a grand piano was in our living room. My sister and I were extremely excited. Shortly after that, my parents brought home a piano teacher, a tall German lady, named Melinda. The story of my musical life had just begun. |   | |
Soon, things turned in a way I had not expected. Frau Melinda did not motivate my sister and me to play and did not give us finger techniques that we needed for playing more advance pieces. Also, we lacked patience and I insisted on memorizing Strauss. I played for years without a flow. I did not feel the flow and my production was powerless. I was missing an unforced concentration as a combination of positive valence and attention. They would have, with better expertise, increased the probability of flow and promoted my optimal performance. |       | |
My dreams, especially when I was ill, for years involved keyboards, turned upside down and I was repeatedly hearing a bass voice saying “GRAVE, GRAVE, GRAVE…” My inability to play a piece the way I knew it should sound made me easily frustrated. |    | |
My homework in high school was to listen to the music of my choice and describe the feelings provoked by the piece. This was the first time that I came across Bedrich Smetana and his The Moldau. Two springs represented by two flutes, meet to form the Moldau. They play quickly, lightly, and thoughtlessly, like the two streams coursing towards each other. The quiet nature of this section emphasizes the small beginnings of the Great River. |     | |
My feelings towards music and evoked by music were stronger than ever, but I could not fully express them on my piano; the syndrome called flow was missing. |   | |
It happened that I moved, leaving my family home and my grand piano. The feelings of resentment, grief, and ambivalence were mixed with feelings of gain, richness, and relief. |   | |
Today, when I am driving, my companions are Smetana and Dvorak. Years past and I have learned about flow, being a result of interaction of emotion and attention, enabled by certain level of expertise. Frau Melinda gave me some technical expertise, but I also learned to know how to listen, enjoy, and understand music. |   | |
The grand piano had to be sold after my father past away and my mother moved to another city. Piano is still my favorite sound and it brings me easily to the large living room filled with togetherness and the smell of Christmas. Flutes give me a sense of playfulness and violin teaches me grace and appreciation. |     | |
I have learned that music is an entity that I have close relationship with and who allows me to travel to the past and throughout my present. The grand piano was only a tool. It was a way of bringing me close to the music I loved. |    | |
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